The Wilderness

The doctor's prepared me with the understanding that the chemotherapy would most likely put me (as it does most) into a temporary menopause.  Instead it has done the opposite.  My ovaries have been put into overdrive and are giving me cycles every two weeks with intense cramps.  Also, the one cyst that I had in my right ovary has turned into several cysts in both ovaries ranging from 1 and 2 cm, which cause a lot of nausea.  Normally, cysts can be dissolved simply with a couple months of birth control but because I have breast cancer any hormone treatment is out of the question.  The doctors don't really know what to do with me as this is not the norm.  The kids have also brought home several sicknesses that I have caught making the other hormonal stuff less manageable.  Then yesterday after church I experienced my first migraine which did not let up until tonight after a good accupuncture treatment and help from a friend.  The headache is still there but is at least manageable unlike the migraine.  I have had several bad headaches in my life but oh the debilitating migraine where you can't move or have lights or noise going is awful.  Can't imagine what it must be like for those who get them often.  Obviously, right now, I'm feeling a little more defeated...but I am accepting that this my current "wilderness" just as Lehi and his family had to go through theirs.  I am holding to the fact that I can be strengthened during the "wilderness of my afflictions" and that the Lord will "provide means whereby...(I)..can accomplish the thing which he has commanded...(and)..provide means...while (I) sojourn in the wilderness" (1 Nephi 17:3 Book of Mormon).