Surgery

My surgery was two weeks ago today and I am amazed at the way my body has been healing.  Things went very smoothly with my surgery and we were so relieved to hear that my cancer had not spread to my lymph nodes which was a miracle with all that was going on in my right side and the type of cancer that it is.  Waking up in the recovery room was a bit traumatic because it was so difficult to breathe with my lungs.  I had to breathe with my diaphragm to get a decent amount of air.  Luckily I was prepared for this as I knew that once they do the mastectomy they put in tissue expanders behind the pectoral muscle.  This causes them to spasm which in turn causes the difficulty breathing.  Knowing this made it much less freaky when I woke up but it was still nonetheless painful.  The pain was bad but as I fully awoke they gave me some valium and percocet for the pain and spasms.  It was quite tolerable after that.  Everything was going very smoothly until I looked down and noticed my right side bulging from my hospital gown.  I asked the nurse if I was supposed to be so lopsided.  She then inspected it and I noticed it was growing bigger by the minute.  As it was growing I was feeling more and more intense pain.  The nurse said it was not good and that they would have to do surgery on it because it was not draining but would call the doctor and see what he thought.  The plastic surgeon was in surgery so she called the breast surgeon who told her to ice it.  When that ice came on the pain became excruciating.  The nurse said I had a hematoma and was filling with blood.  I started hyperventilating and crying because the pain was becoming unbearable.  I had already taken my pain meds so the nurse said she would give me an iv of morphine.  Didn't even touch the pain.  Right when I thought I could not take it one more minute a voice came in my mind that said "tell your mother to sing to you".  My mom was sitting next to me and not knowing what to do.  I told her to start singing.  She began to sing with her most melodic voice beautiful hymns of comfort such as; "Abide With Me, Tis Eventide"; "Savior, Pilot, Me", "Come Thou Fount" and so forth.  I felt surrounded by angels and I could feel them singing with my mother and filling me with comfort and relief from the pain.  I told my mom, "the angels are singing with you", and she was choked up as she witnessed the profound spirit in the room and knew that what I said was true.  My mom and the angels continued to soothe my pain until the plastic surgeon and surgery crew got there about 30 minutes later.  When Dr. Brunworth got there he put his hand on my leg and said how sorry he was I had to experience this.  He said he must have missed cauterizing a vein somewhere which was most likely the cause of this.  What doctor does that?  Will apologize and say he may have missed something?  All I can say is I was thoroughly impressed with his compassion and honesty.  He and the surgery crew then wheeled me into the OR and transferred me to the surgical table.  This transferring brought all the pain back in its intensity and I began to hyperventilate again.  The nurse said I would be out in about a minute and to just breathe through the pain.  Dr. Brunworth in the meantime was rubbing my hand trying to soothe me since my mom wasn't there to sing.  This is the most compassionate doctor I have ever met and he is my age!  Well, a year older anyway.  He made the experience so much more bearable.  He found during the surgery that the blood was coming from everywhere not from one unattended vein and it worried him that I might have a blood disorder because my body was also bruising everywhere a needle or knife touched.  Luckily those test just came back negative.  They think it must be related to the advil I accidentally took two nights before which can thin the blood.  The main thing is...I have a doctor who is so good he is willing to take the blame for something that wasn't even his fault.  He will definitely be recommended.