Renewed

I was getting down earlier this week when I caught yet another cold (my 3rd one in 3 weeks) just after getting over the chemo sickness.  It was hard not to let myself think about what I was doing last year compared to now.  I had just run my first half marathon, was hosting a "healthy-eating" support group, and hadn't been sick for almost a year.  Now I'm catching colds every week it seems and working out maybe once a month doing a 20 min slow-paced eliptical workout while undergoing chemotherapy for cancer treatment.  Things have changed but then I remembered the beautiful experience I had in the temple the day we found out I had cancer.  I was filled with the most beautiful light and love that was overwhelming.  It truly felt as though angels were surrounding me and giving me the strength I needed to work through this new trial.  Thoughts came to my mind of how this trial would be a tremendous blessing in my life and that much joy would come of it.  I was SO grateful to have had that experience in the temple before all this began to be able to hold to when things got tough.  As I recalled that experience I also recalled all those people who've been through this that I've come in contact with that are now doing wonderful.  This gave me renewed strength and determination and I felt better.  I have a friend I've met through facebook who is going through the same thing right now and is on the same chemo schedule.  She was also having a difficult time this week and after I felt my lift I wrote this in response to her deep desire to get away and take a vacation.  I wanted to post it in my blog so that I can remember when I get down again...

Oh (name withheld)i, I so felt this same way yesterday! I even mentioned to my husband, "can we go to some tropical paradise vacation when all this is over??" Chemo is hard stuff, especially to be going through during winter months. Although the winter does fit our current situation. We are in the winter right now, the chemo is killing the cancer in our bodies and often feels and looks like it's killing us too. We may look and feel dead like the trees outside but I'm holding out for spring when we finish this hard stuff and our bodies will come back to life just like the trees outside. We are getting some serious pruning right now and it hurts but in the spring we will be well again. I've seen so many people that are doing better now--a few months out from chemo--then they have in years (some are still doing Herceptin right now too). Their hair's growing back, they have energy, they can work out again. This is going to be you and me hopefully by April...then maybe we can take our warm vacation to celebrate . Love you girl! We can do hard things!!!!!!!!!!