Today was more reassuring as I felt more like a veteren having made it to "halfway done"!!! Today was the first time I heard the most beautiful noise in the infusion room. The sound of a bell. It reminded me of shopping at Trader Joe's and they ring a bell when they have met a goal. But the bell in the chemo room represents something much more grand. When you hear that beautiful bell ring it means someone just finished their LAST chemo treatment. Many clap and shout "hooray" for the person who has finished something SO daunting, yet so brave. That bell rang twice today and brought many emotions to hear. All of us in that room know that chemo stinks and makes us all feel very vulnerable. Along with all the joyous celebrating for the two bells rung today I also witnessed something that made me sad. The lady diagonally across the room came in to start her chemo treatment and was crying. I didn't know if she was crying knowing how sick she was about to feel or if she was already feeling awful and didn't want to add the chemo poison to the equation. Whatever it was she was desperately not wanting to have to get yet another dose of medicine that would only make her feel worse. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her to let it all out. Sometimes just venting about how hard it is really helps. It is amazing the love I feel for these women going through the same thing. I've never experienced such a strong feeling for people I haven't even met. Usually with each treatment you get to know the stories of the women around you and sometimes it lifts and inspires while other times you just hurt for these women. My heart ached for the woman in tears who was struggling terribly yet was filled with joy by the bells ringing and the wonderful women sitting next to me. She is 30 years older then me yet we made an instant bond and chatted through the whole 6 hours of treatment. Her husband was there who I could feel was very supportive. They were both so positive yet honest about the hard things regarding chemo and cancer. We seemed very similar regarding our strong belief in God, the joys of raising a family with four kids, and our love for healthy living. A lot of these women in the chemo room haven't adopted healthy eating habits so it was so nice to sit by someone who has. Since my diagnosis I have this deep desire to one day become a nutrition counselor for cancer patients. I know it can't take the cancer away but it can give such a great quality of life and help greater protection against future disease. Okay, time to go lay down. The nausea, bodyaches, and heavy feeling are setting in. Only 3 more hardcore treatments and I will hear that bell ring for.....me!!!!
2 comments:
This was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. I can't wait to hear my bell for the challenge I am going through... reminds me of "It's a wonderful life." :)57
You let us know when that bell rings and we will be clapping and shouting and cheering all the way out here in Chicago! You're such a warrior Charity and Iove hearing your brave perspective as you face this trial. Also you look adorable in your hat and pink shirt! What awesome friends to make those shirts for you all!
Post a Comment