Chemo #1 day 2

Since the first infusion takes at least 7 hours the doctor said it would be easier--since I have kids--to break it up into two days.  Normally it will be one 5.5-6 hour day every 3 weeks.

Amber drove me to my get the remainder of my first chemo infusion.  Drea watched her kids so she could take me.  These girls have been such a great support to me.  Always so cheerful and helpful.  Once I learned they had pebble ice available Amber kept loading me up with it.  Several people have also said that if you eat ice chips during your treatment your less likely to get mouth sores.

Christi surprised me and stopped by with a cute dancing sunflower to cheer me up.  When you put it in the sun it dances.  She has done so much for our family--cleaning our house, preparing and playing Halloween bingo with the kids, making our family yonanas, and getting me the cutest "Support the Cure" shirt I wore to surgery.  

Lora, who works with me in YW surprised me too and brought me yummy fruit which was just what the doctor ordered.  This is when the queeziness really started setting in.  

Nancy and Beckie came and surprised me too!!!  This is when things got awesome and tricky.  All these surprise visitors came and none of us knew you can only have one visitor in the chemo room at a time.  It was quite hilarious having certain people walking in and then being sent out by the nurse.  Everyone had to "take turns" coming in to visit me while the others waited in the foyer.  At one time there were 4 people waiting out there!  It made me feel SO LOVED!  Each person would take about 15 min to visit with me and then give the next person a turn.  The nurse was really baffled by this and asked if I was the first of ALL the people I knew to have something bad happen to them.  I just told her we have a great support group through church and wanted to tell her, "you don't know the Rockwood 1st ward"!  Both of these ladies have been incredible cheerleaders and have made food, watched babies, brought gifts, driven me to appts, etc. etc.  They also really make me laugh which I was definitely in need of as the chemo drugs were starting to make me feel sick.

By the end of day 2 I was feeling pretty wiped out.  Nancy brought me back a couple hours later to get my Neulasta shot which helps the bones produce more white blood cells.  This shot costs 12,000 a piece!  Can you believe that?!  Thank you insurance!  The nurse noticed as I was walking to get the shot that I was really dragging my legs and wondered if I was okay.  She said usually your not that wiped out until the 3rd day.  I had already taken a Zofran for nausea which I technically wasn't supposed to need until the next day.  She said the Carboplatin chemo drug is very hard-core and that it can be pretty intense so to not be sparing on the nausea meds and sleeping pills.  So that night it hit me hard.  I started bawling to Kelly because the nausea, headache, and bodyaches were really pulling me down.  He had me open a package his sister sent full of beautiful hats she had hand-knit to cover my bald head.  They were beautiful!  Then Beckie brought over some homemade chicken noodle soup and two of the sweetest cards came in the mail.  I was amazed at that very weak moment how the Lord compensated and lifted me.  These times of struggle or so hard but oh how they help us see the Lord's hand and His LOVE!

Chemo #1 day 1

 Getting ready to leave for chemo armored with my "faith, hope, charity" bracelet (thank you Noel and Julie), and my necklace on that says "I CAN do hard things" (thank you Amie).  

 Just as I was walking to the van to go Nancy Robinson came to watch the kids and gave me this awesome shirt to empower me during chemo.

 All hooked up.  I had no idea it would take several hours just to do the premeds which were Benadryl, Anti-nausea meds, steroids, pepcid, and saline.  They have learned that it is best to have these meds already in your system to combat the myriads of side effects.

Chemo/future update

Chemo started Monday and was broken up into two treatments for the first.  Felt a little queezy Monday but yesterday it hit hard.  Today is supposed to be the worst and then I'm told it starts getting better again.  When I'm feeling better I'll update all the details.  I will say, I feel the Lord with us during this very difficult time.

Port or Ipod?

Doctor, I think you left your ipod in me but I can't find the earphone jack.  How's this supposed to work?....

I am still very weirded out by this port but everyone says you will be glad you got it rather than deal with collapsing veins from being poked SO much.  I thought it was going to be more like a heplock iv port...where part of it is poking out of the skin.  Didn't realize they would enclose it under the skin...so I still have to get poked through the skin but it just won't be nearly the poke you normally get.  I've got this discomfort again like when I had the drains--not nearly as bad though.  When I arch my head back it kills because I can feel the catheter moving in the artery but it is probably mostly due to the new incision.  Everyone says after a few weeks you get used to it.  Just hope it isn't driving me too crazy by Monday when I get my first chemo infusion.

I was grateful to be diverted from the discomfort today when my friend Liz (a hairstylist) came over and washed and styled my hair.  She was so sweet because she also cut Kelly's hair as well at no charge.  People are GOOD!

Faces of the Savior

I saw the Savior in MANY faces today.  I have been tremendously touched by it and continue to get choked up as I think of all the ways the Lord is manifesting His love and comfort to us through others.  It was amazing as today I was physically feeling very ill but spiritually being fed and lifted constantly.  This morning I was so drained and feeling I couldn't go in tomorrow for surgery to put the port in for chemo while feeling this way.  My regular alternative doctor was not in and I desperately needed a treatment to get me through tomorrow's surgery.  I found one that a couple people have mentioned was inexpensive but good and so I got an appointment.  A sweet lady from church came over and took care of the kids while my mom drove me to the appt.  He gave a wonderful treatment and was SO kind.  He asked if my name was on the temple prayer roll and said he wanted to pray for me.  He did extra work on me and sent me home with extras and as I pulled out my wallet to pay him (which usually costs triple when it is a new patient visit) he said it was free of charge and that he was going to pray for me.  I was about to cry as this man who had never met me before today gave this selfless gift of service.  Words couldn't even express my gratitude for his Christlike act of kindness.

   Later I looked on facebook and saw I was tagged on Kelly's page with the above picture.  Some girls at work had these bracelets made for everyone to wear to show their support for me and my family.  Kelly said these girls went around and gave everyone in the office a bracelet to show support and then handed Kelly a large bag full of these bracelets to hand out to friends and family.  On Facebook people started commenting  saying they wanted some to show their support and would even pay postage to have some sent.  When Kelly came home I lost it and through my tears said how amazed I was at the LOVE of others and how they truly are reflecting the Savior;s love through their actions.  Then to top it off I came home to a beautiful package filled with homemade hats to wear when I lose my hair.  Also included was a little teddy bear with a matching hat to bring to my chemo treatments or squeeze when I'm feeling sick.  So many tender mercies today.

   Coming soon...another sweet story of the sacrifices made to give our family a fun and diverting photo session :).

   

Making progress

Two milestones today!  The first one is my pain has significantly reduced and my energy improved so I got to drive Ephraim to preschool today!  I even got to drive to a friend's house for lunch and pick up her son to go to the same preschool.  It felt SO good and was a blessing from the Lord to have some time before chemo starts next week that I can help with my kids and get out a little.  As hard as things have been lately I'm SO grateful for how it has taught me to appreciate the little things and to enjoy my relationships so much more.  My family has become precious to me.  Each giggle or hug or connection made is treasured in a deeper way than before.
     The other milestone today was something my mom said that was an answer to prayer.  Like I've said in previous posts, Kelly and I have fervently prayed about whether to do the alternative or medical route to treat this cancer.  Though I always like to try alternative first before depending on western medicine we both received strong answers from the Lord that we needed to incorporate both the alternative and the medical route.  It may be for more reasons than just physical but for our circumstance this is what the Lord has led us to do.  It was hard, at first, to accept this because it meant losing my hair and dealing with a myriad of other possible side effects.  It was also hard because my mom wasn't on board with the medical route simply because she saw how my grandfather suffered and passed away from the effects of chemo rather than the cancer itself.  She said she couldn't bare to watch me suffer through this if there could be a possible alternative.  There have been people that she has met or heard of (as well as I) that have cured their cancer from alternative options and diet and she really wanted me to do the same.  I double-checked with the Lord a couple of times to make sure this truly was the best choice for our family and each time I've still felt we needed to go this path.  It still made it hard that my mom struggled with it though and I was beginning to get nervous about starting chemo next week with her here and having a hard time with it.  I've been praying the last few days that my mom could have peace about our decision so that we could go into it with full support.  Today that prayer was answered when my mom came up to me this morning and said she felt peace about the chemo.  She said she can now see the chemo as pruning a tree...there will be branches cut back and taken away which could seem painful but in the end it will make that tree stronger than it ever was before.  That line right there amazed me because it was the very analogy my holistic doctor used yesterday to help explain the need for chemotherapy used along with holistic medicine/therapy.  What a beautiful and direct way the Lord answered my prayer!

Goodbye Recliner

Dear Recliner,

You have been great these past few weeks supporting me and propping me up at night when my bed couldn't offer that post-surgery.  I appreciate what you've done for me but now it is time to say good-bye to our night-time resting periods.  Last night after a great acupuncture/chiropractic treatment and massage I was able to graduate back to my bed, sleeping by my sweet hubby.  With the help of supportive pillows I was even able to sleep on my side.  It felt SO good to be next to my love and to be back on my side.  Oh how I've ached to have those two things back into my night-time sleep routine and now they are.  I felt so much more rested this morning upon waking up!  So again, thank you for getting me through the last 2.5 weeks but now I'm happy to say goodby!