Moving

Since our inspiring conference get-away last weekend I've been in tears everyday--and I'm not someone who cries easily.  I would love to say the tears are from recalling all the tender mercies and inspirational messages given at conference but they are honestly from the heartache of knowing I will soon be leaving this place that I've come to love so much.  On Sunday we officially accepted a job that will land us back in Utah in June.  We have prayed and prayed about this opportunity and as much apprehension I have about moving to a new place while still undergoing cancer treatment and leaving the amazing support system and cherished friendships I have in St Louis--we feel the Lord is guiding us this direction.  I just wish it didn't have to be so hard.  We LOVE St Louis and its people and how they have carried our family through this cancer journey.  How can I leave these good people especially before I have had the chance to repay all the service they have done for our family?  I don't understand and every time I think about it I become a blubbering mess all over again.  I really don't want to leave!!!  Why does this one have to be so hard?  I keep doubting my answer because I think if this was really the Lord's will then it wouldn't be so painful--that I would just be excited about the job opportunity for Kelly and the chance to be closer to family.  When I remind myself of the beautiful experiences we had in Salt Lake (i.e. running into our mission president/ being fed lunch by perfect strangers) after praying if this was the right direction for our family then I have courage to go forward.  I'm SO grateful for the time the Lord has granted us to get to know this lovely place and people.  Our memories here will be cherished forever.