Opposition

I was SO grateful for today, though I'm still feeling icky.  Lately I've felt disconnected from the Spirit which has been so difficult.  I realize it is because of this continuous brain fog that comes from the chemo.  It has become more noticeable with each treatment and stays with me even after the sickness lifts.  If zombies were real I could probably relate to their mental state!  But today--though I was still dealing with "chemo-sickness" I had little moments where I felt connected again and it was wonderful.  The main one was tonight when we sat around the table together and Kelly started asking the kids questions about Adam and Eve.  I realized we had not had any meaningful family night's with lessons in several months and being able to discuss as a family the importance of certain gospel principles--including opposition--felt SO good.  We explained how Opposition was introduced in the garden of Eden and why that was so important.  My thoughts were somewhat jumbled (as they are right now while I'm trying to explain this :)) but then, for a moment, the fog dissipated and everything clicked.  We shared how Haela used to struggle so much with her asthma and was hospitalized many times but now can run a 5K without stopping.  Without the opposition of her health struggle she could never have felt the same joy that she did when she ran across that finish line for the first time.  Her joy was much greater because she had gone through such a low with her health.  As I was sharing this I felt a confirmation that this health struggle I am currently going through is going to be so much a part of my future joy that I will feel when I come out of it.  This was really what I needed to remember tonight as lately I've become much more anxious to "hurry up and get it over with".  I've been forgetting the importance of "enduring it well" and having patience in the current state and journey I'm on.  It is all part of the joy I will feel later.  This cloud over my brain and nagging body discomforts will make me that much more grateful for that "clearness of mind" and general "healthy" feeling that will come later.  So for right now, I will be content.